Can I get a hell ya?

 I'm leaning out, but its been small changes here, small changes there, little by little. Its had me wondering if I'm doing it right, if there is something wrong with me or my metabolism.. ect. Change, even small change is good, but I've also been thinking, "come on!!!! I'm working hard, I want to see definite change!". My weight has been about the same since I started. I was 140 lbs, and dropped down to 138/139 after 2 weeks, and then I stayed there. Hovering.. I dreaded every Saturday when I weighed myself for what was coming. But finally I'm 137! Here's hoping it continues, slow still I want to keep muscle, but actually moving down as I lean out. More muscle is showing through, I'm finally starting to feel like a competitor.
 I'm excited and nervous for the next 11.5 weeks. I still can't visualize myself on stage yet, but I'm looking forward to getting there. I'm coming into this competition a little different than most competitors. Not to say I haven't had visions of winning and so on.. but I just want to get on the stage, and be proud of the hard work that got me there. Last year threw me and my self confidence so much, I'm looking forward to having a moment where I can say, "I did it, I overcame a tough situation, and the inner demons". Maybe down the road my mentality will be more competitive, but for now I'll just be happy to be there. I'm thankful for the mindset I have. I feel I'm more balanced. I'm much more concerned about my metabolism, and my mind going in and coming out of this. I've worked really hard to have a healthy metabolism and even harder to have a healthy mindset. I don't want to throw that out the window for a competition.
 This last week I got one of the first items on the list of things I need for my competiton. My shoes. 

 My daughter commented on them being very tall, and my hubby asked me where to put the dollar bills.. They were surprisingly more comfortable than I though they'd be. I just need to work on not looking drunk while walking in them. Now to get the suit.. :)